March 27, 2008

Bindaas bol (Speak your mind!)

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:59 am by RJ

My lunch mate Chaitanya shared a story, which I found quiet interesting and somehow made a mark deep inside me. I would love to share the story with the same passion he did, but not everybody is Chait :). Thanks for sharing buddy!

A Salty Ending

Long ago in some far away place lived a king and his two sons. The king ruled many kingdoms and had been thinking deeply which son would take over the kingdoms after him. He asked them a simple question, “What or who is most important to you in life?” The elder son doesn’t want to take any chances and obviously making the king happy, replies “My father – I can’t live without you and you are the most important person in my life”. The king is super excited and expects the same from the younger son. The younger child without wasting any time further time added, “Dad, its the salt that is most important for me”. This reply from the young prince discommodes the king and he decides to take severe action. The severe action ended in an exile from the kingdom for the younger prince. The ego of the king was hurt to an extent that people were stopped from buying, selling, using or even speaking about salt.

Salt was condemned from being used in any food preparation. The king was very austere about the decision and his subjects and the people of the kingdom were antagonized by this move. Nobody had the audacity to face the king and get exonerated from the act of eating saltess food. Months later, even the king started realising that food without salt is like fasting everyday and called off the brutal rule. As a matter of fact, the younger son was brought back from exile and the king announced that he would be the next ruler for boldly speaking his mind and not just replying to make his father happy.

Moral: Making someone feel happy is a good deed but speaking your mind is ultra important.(Chait narrated the story over our discussion whether a particular dish was salty – but gave me an outlook to think)

My friend keeps telling me “Do you want to hear what you like or should I say what I feel?” This makes one feel that you would wish the reply to both parts should be same but not necessarily. She speaks her mind with ultimate ease and thats the way to be! One of my other “politically-correct-replies” friend would never let me improve because to make me happy he would always tell me things I would like to hear.

Have you ever faced this situation at work where you knew a solution to a problem but hesitated to share it with the team? hesitated to answer in school/college/classes knowing the answer? hesitated to stop someone doing something wrong? hesitated to speak your mind? Many of us think and believe that “bindaas bolna” means hurting others feeling. Speaking for oneself shows the confidence and potrays your opinion of thought. Dont shy away from situations – if your crush comes and tells you that you look rocking today – don’t just blush away, instead reply back saying, always! πŸ™‚ Confidence is the key – you have to believe in yourself for others to believe in you.

A simple tip is talking all by yourself looking at the mirror – sounds weird but this helps a lot. As a child, I couldn’t say the alphabet “r” – to the extent that I asked for a loaf of bread in a grocery shop nearby and he gave a pack of shaving blades – for him my bread sounded blades!!!! The mirror habit helped me say the alphabet “r” correctly. Folks – maintain eye contact, stand straight and walk with confidence and I am sure you will speak your mind, not minding what the other person thinks.

The combination of your idea and thought process might be as good as others or even better, so let’s share it, you may reach heights you never dreamt of. Before I leave here’s a mantra of life to cherish and follow – I am gonna speak my mind today & stay healthy!!



  1. gargi said,

    i must say raj, u have contributed increased number of hits to this blogspot with new and intersting topics. Thanks for the bringing in the wave of health awareness in our group members Raman and Chaitanya and me.
    Good job Dude.

  2. Chaitanya said,

    Thanks for sharing my story dude !!!

    btw, iam one of the or THE smoking pal of RJ he keeps referring to …
    now .. now … folks … don’t break my bones for the confession

  3. RJ said,

    @Gargi – Thanks! I am happy that you have starting running/walking and the pedometer helps you πŸ™‚

    Eat healthy & stay fit!

  4. RJ said,

    @Chait – dude you gotto quit man! I have started smelling tobacco in the air and its killing the environment. Ahhh – that should hurt – stop smoking pal it kills ya! πŸ™‚

  5. Ashok said,

    Hi Raja, atlast i am happy that u started following my path :))))))

  6. kurt said,

    Pretty good post dude…

    Speak ur mind…
    Its a sensitive topic & being in the IT industry, ppl hardly get to do that(unless u r in the top position), coz ppl are always sucking up to their seniors/clients.
    Its not that we(IT guys) dont have the guts to speak our mind, its just tht we are in this position were we cannot risk everything by speaking our mind.

    But when we are in our notice period, we should give everyone a piece of our mind. πŸ˜‰
    All the above is applicable only in ur office envirnoment…

    When u speak ur mind, dont be blunt respect the feelings of the person in front of u…


  7. gayathri-vishwanathan said,

    oh yes speaking the truth is always good! but u know what…truth should said such that the opposite person gets your message and does not get offended either.

    i always do this…if my friend comes and asks me how does she look in a particular dress…and if i dont like it; i tell her: hey this does not make u look as beautiful as that so and so dress does. in this manner i am giving her my honest opinion and not offending her either.

  8. RJ said,

    @Gaya – Very true! I second that! Guys don’t ask that question but I just imagined if somebody comes and asks me that i would say, Ok but not as smart and sexy as me πŸ™‚

    It’s just about talking bindaasly!!(I just made that word)

    Lazy weekend blues,

  9. Sakhi said,


    Not only in the IT sector people don’t stand up to their views but it is across industry and i can say this especially for India. We are brought up in such a manner where as children we cant tell our views to elders (“badon ke saamne aise nahi bolte!) then as we grow a bit older, (yahi sikhaya tha humne tumhe, behave properly) to when to grow up and go to in-laws place (for girls)_ (tumhare parents ne tumhe kuchh nahi sikhaaya) and this gets inbibed so much in our psych so badly that we hardly notice not coming out with our views even when it is needed.

    kuchh jhaada philosophical ho gaya, hai na?

    @chitanya and RJ

    Smoking is not only bad for YOUR health but is also bad for whoever is breathing the same air as you. Passive smoking is as injurious as active smoking. So quit smokin, not for you but for the sake of others.

    Sermon over, πŸ™‚

  10. RJ said,

    @Saks – I aint the smoking one! Why including me??!!

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